ready. set. go. 🏁
Checked Out, 1/?, glitter faux leather, wood stretcher bars, 2024
I’m checking out;
early 2000s, middle school, Journey’s, Logan Valley Mall, my bff’s and birthday money. There they were, the shoes I had been swooning over on the feet of every MTV artist - checked Vans slip-on sneakers. The register rings $39.99 and I have literally 1 cent to spare. Despite my family and friends calling them my "clown shoes," they were a moment of affirmation for me. From then on, clothing and patterns became a conscious essential to my self-expression.
Checks are all the rage in 2024, with many brands offering checkered products. This classic pattern transcends gender, culture, and time, allowing freedom for individual context - contributing to the capital success of the pattern. For me, checkers simultaneously represent a nostalgic aesthetic and my dual identity as Ash/THECOLORG - a way for me to express my inner thoughts, concerns, and actions in a visual and material way.
Recently, I was fired from my job coordinating art programming at Moore College of Art & Design because a canceled flight led to me missing one day of work. Despite a glowing review, a raise, and growing my program enrollment by nearly two thirds in less than one year, my value was reduced to one missed day. The threat of complete financial ruin is no stranger to the millennial - and this did nothing but reinforce that threat. I could never again give that level of energy and skill to an employer. They disrespected my time in an unforgivable way that has forever changed my perspective on employment and how I spend my time - my most precious resource.
I’ve decided to check out of the rat race with $0.66 in my bank account, Afterpay and Affirm trolling me for missed payments, my credit cards past due, medicaid and food stamps taking their sweet time to kick in, and my unemployment benefits pending. This is definitely scary - but that’s their goal (who are they? I’m letting you decide for yourself). It’s the next hidden level in their game - putting an end to reliance on a system that burns us out until we have nothing left; their only goal to take what they need and then throw us in a shallow grave when all is said and done; and you bet your ass they won’t waste their energy digging the appropriate 6 feet. They do not value our lives, our visions, our efforts, or our hard work - no matter the amount of staff lunches or coffee corrals that dazzle us with. I had hoped that employment culture would change for the better once millennials took over (millennials will make up 75% of the working class by 2025), but it was a millennial that did the dirty work, firing me over a phone call, lacking the integrity to carry out their corporate bullshit in person.
This transition will certainly involve jobs; survival capitalism; but I am excited to commit my future to creating a sustainable path forward for my partner Neill and I as artists. This experience reminded me of what they want us to forget - to be afraid of. It reminded me that we do have the agency to check out and check in somewhere else. Together, we can build a more sustainable future using our collective histories and stories - sharing what has worked, what hasn’t; how to make sense of where to go next in this capitalist hellscape. I’m hoping that we, as a collective arts community and current movement that will be in the history books 100 years from now - can figure out a way forward; a big fuck you to the system that controls our time and creative energy; a fuck you to institutions who hang artists out to dry while actively toting an inclusive, equal, and ethical environment; a way to check out of this system meant to oppress the creative minds they are so afraid of.
Good luck with the woes of the week, and I hope you’ll check in with me next Monday! 🏁
Leave any comments below! I would love to have a conversation. 📣